You're Doing it Wrong

Since you asked, I can think of some that did not make the list,

1. Digging a Ditch in 95º weather.

2. Roofing a house in 95º weather.

3. Getting shot at in 120º weather, sleeping on the ground and eating dehydrated food out of a plastic bag.

3. Drinking without a buddy.

4. Making a fellow co-worker (who is going through some serious personal shit) feel bad because he sought out help at the same time that you were editing said 11 page query.

5. Unemployment, that is really worse, but that is what we would be if we did not shoehorn in bullshit features and go that extra mile.  That one client may be the only one that uses that functionality but that will be one happy client, who is to say that a single happy client could not drive enough business our way so that we would recoup the money spent, what is the true value of a happy client?

Fucken N.P.  Goddamnit.  Bad timing on his part, assholery on mine. 

How the fuck did I end up the expert on DOS networking?  There are three other people on that goddamn project.  Maybe ONE of them would be a little better prepared?   

Shit.  Now I feel awful.  Thanks.  You're terrible. 

I wasn't trying to make you feel awful, I was trying to help you gain some perspective before you break all of your office furniture and yes, I am terrible and I am partially responsible so do not beat yourself or your desk up too bad  (we can discuss it further over a redneck champagne after work, that is if you are actually going to show up and not be guilty of number 3 again). 

You are the expert because 3 years ago you set it up this way and in the 3 years since have never moved the process over to the server instead of using your machine.  I never did it because you did such a good yob, it wasn't broke so why fuck with it.  If you do not want to be the expert on everything then get dumb, otherwise, accept your genius as the curse it is and STFU (there, does that make you feel better?).

Let's blame Brad, he is in charge of the units now, he should have taken all of this on when he took that over, Dammit Brad.

5 years left.  12/12/12 - End of Time - everybody dies and we get to do it all over again (actually it is 12/21/12 according to the Aztecs or Incas or some such, but what do they know, they're dead already).

12/21/12 will be when the earth will be aligned with the sun and the sun will be alligned with the center of the Milky Way, gravitational forces will be increased which will cause differences in the earth's magnetic fields which will cause fire and destruction to reign down on us all, woo hoo, cook out at my hizzy (BYOSunblock).

Rocks!!!!!  It WAS sweet when they killed Ellis.  They should have mentioned the dumbass FBI agents, Johnson and Johnson, no relation.

What are the lyrics after they say "No help from Alan" the first time, in reference to "With a Vengance", something like blah blah for free?

Has anyone else noticed how all of the movies deal with Terrorists, but none of the terrorists are of Islamic origin????

They should do one using the Lethal Weapon movies.

Yipikaye motherfucker...

I've got to see Live Free or Die Hard.  At least for the comedic value.  (you just blew up a helicopter with a car.  "I ran out of bullets...")

I know, I know...  "GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG BRAD!!!"

Did those guys listen to you at poker one night???

Fuck that noise.